The holidays are a time when families get together. The reality is that’s not always a Hallmark Card moment. It could instead be a bubbling punch bowl of stress just waiting to end up on someone. Given how highly charged this time of year can be for dysfunctional but married couples, it should be no surprise many spouses decide they’ve had enough during the holidays.

New Year is a time for resolutions and self-improvement. That can mean divorcing a spouse and starting all over again. While others talk about losing physical weight, your goal is losing all that emotional weight holding you back. Life is too short to live with a spouse you don’t love.

Once you’ve decided you’re getting divorced, all the irritations, nonsense, and mind games your spouse plays may roll off your back. You’ve reached the point where you’ve had enough, and the end is near. It’s a just a matter of time before you exit your marital house of horrors.

What You Do Next Depends on Your Situation

What you do and who you tell depends on your circumstances. If you have small children, you may not want their holiday memories mixed with your announcement the two of you are calling it quits. The holidays are stressful enough.

How you communicate your desire to divorce depends on your spouse and relationship. Divorcing couples can be remarkably caring about each other one minute and get extreme the next — where physical abuse occurs. Whether your marital exit is calm and controlled or you’re in an ejection seat leaving the exploding jet that’s your marriage, you need to decide which path is right for you.

So, while you’re making a good show at holiday parties at friends’ and relatives’ homes, your mind can be elsewhere, planning what you need to do to make your divorce a reality.  Here are the important questions to ask and answer.

Where are Your Financial Records?

Unless you have few assets to split between the two of you, these records are critical. They tell the story of how much wealth you have, how much debt you owe, and who during the divorce process may be responsible for what. This can include bank and investment statements, retirement accounts, insurance policies, and cryptocurrency. Start organizing these records and copying them.

What are Your Tangible Assets?

What things do you and your spouse own? It may include vehicles, jewelry, furniture, real estate, and the family dog. NJ law requires they be divided or credited equitably during a divorce. If you and your spouse can’t figure that out, the lawyers, mediator, arbitrator, or a Judge will do it for you

How Will Your Spouse and You Resolve Your Conflicts?

Even if you think the process will go smoothly, you may hit rough patches on the divorce road, and there may be issues where your spouse refuses to compromise. Usually, divorces initially start through negotiation. If that only gets you so far, we will recommend mediation. If all else fails, the parties can give up control of the outcome and have an arbitrator or a Judge decide

What are Your Spouse’s and Your Priorities?

You can’t always get what you want, but you should get what you need. Ideally, both sides will be prepared to compromise, and each side has their priorities. When it comes to dividing wealth, it may be done in many ways, at least one of which should be mutually acceptable. There’s normally a certain amount of trading, whether one kind of asset goes to one spouse, another for the other, and child custody can be split, too. Or not.

What’s Best for Your Children?

The court ordinarily will presume having both parents in their children’s  lives is best. If you have serious reservations about your spouse’s ability to parent, the facts need to be extreme for a judge to deny a parent any parenting time with  a child. How child custody is handled during your divorce is based on their best interests, not on what you or your spouse want.

Contact Kingston Law Group – Attorneys You Can Trust With Your Legal Matters

Divorce requires many steps. It’s not the time to hire an attorney who will learn the ropes by working on your case. Kingston Law Group are experienced divorce attorneys who’ve helped many people just like you for more than 50 years.

If you’re serious about divorce and decided to take that step, contact us at 609-683-7400 or write to us online to schedule an initial divorce law consultation. The first consultation is handled at a reduced rate.  We accept major credit cards and offer appointments from 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., Monday to Friday, or pre-arranged evening appointment times.

Kingston Law Group represents people in family law in Princeton NJ,  Central New Jersey including , Kingston, New Brunswick, Lawrenceville, and Mercer NJ.

Call us today. You will be glad you did.

And Happy Holidays!!