Divorce can present a high financial and emotional toll. Sometimes, a husband or wife has spent months or years planning to file for divorce, and the other spouse has been in the dark. This scenario gives the “early exiting” spouse the advantage of time – not just emotionally, but also in terms of appropriate divorce planning: legitimate changes in income, plans for new housing, financial planning, estate planning, and possibly entry into a new relationship. If you are contemplating a divorce, or find yourself in its early stages, it is important that you hire experienced legal counsel not only with deliberate speed, but also someone you like and respect professionally. Here’s why:

“Don’t Get Conflicted Out”

If you delay hiring the attorney who is right for you, your spouse could use a tactic known as “conflicting out.” This is when one spouse meets with every top law firm in the area, and confides just enough information to establish attorney-client privilege. In the end, they don’t actually hire that attorney, but the firm can’t later take you as a client either. If your spouse is determined, they could block your access to all of the best attorneys in town.  I had a client who interviewed eight law firms before choosing ours.  It became clear to me that she was not only researching the best lawyer for her, but also making sure her husband could not use the firms that made her nervous.  Not everyone does that, yet we know it goes on.

Dragging feet, Denying, Resisting, Refusing

Delayed divorce rarely improves matters between the parties. A spouse who resists divorce proceedings, by repeatedly cancelling or rescheduling mediation, separation therapy, collaborative law meetings, meetings with legal counsel, forensic accountants, property appraisers, etc.; who goes overtime providing data or documents; may be characterized as a “foot dragger”.  This may be a function of emotional resistance to the divorce itself, or could be the product of anxiety, insecurity, or resistance to all of the changes the divorce will bring (housing, forced financial independence, introduction of child custody and parenting time protocols, etc.). However understandable the resistance may be, delays in process will result in additional professional fees and costs, in addition to emotional fatigue.

The divorce process, especially as formality overtakes informality, tends to be binary: you either do this or that.  Unless both spouses are cooperative, one spouse has the ability to press the other to do what needs to be done to move the process forward.  While your spouse will eventually have to comply, the delay could cost you. Your attorney can alert the court to unnecessary delays and stall tactics, and seek sanctions, including counsel fees and costs, for unreasonable or bad faith behavior.

As the late great Joe Louis once said about a boxing opponent, “He can run but he can’t hide.”  Divorce is something akin to that, absent the threat of physical adversity, of course. The sooner you hire an attorney, the less time your spouse gets to drag things out indefinitely.

Hiding assets

If one spouse has access to certain assets or a flow of income, s/he may be tempted to hide them or shield them through triangulation with others, thereby making it difficult for you to find out the truth.  At some point, it may be impossible for you to recover what has gone missing, or even know exactly what that was/is. It is therefore essential that your attorney gain full and transparent disclosures of assets, income, budgets, and debts as soon as possible, to prevent the loss, dissipation, or hypothecation (placement of assets as collateral for new loans) of income and assets.  You may even legitimately fear the other party’s spending marital money in a rush. Why? Sometimes out of boredom, other times out of spite.  Either way, you have to nip the problem in the bud.  “Praemonitus, praemunitus” is the Latin for this expression: “Forewarned is forearmed.”

What Excellent Legal Representation Could Mean for You

 An experienced divorce attorney knows exactly how to counter the delays and other bad faith tactics that some parties may try; will push hard for compliance with appointments and deadlines; and will seek court ordered sanctions if a party fails to cooperate or is found to be hiding, transferring, or dissipating marital assets, or running up big bills/spending down major marital monies — uncharacteristically and unreasonably.

Conclusion

The sooner you have excellent legal representation on your side, the more smoothly your divorce is likely to go. Reach out to the family law attorneys at Hanan M. Isaacs, P.C., to schedule a near term reduced fee initial consultation.  Call 609-683-7400 or contact us as soon as possible. We will listen to your facts, advise you on the law, and recommend pathways that will lead your children and you to economic and social justice. Call now.  You will be glad you did.