The debate over alimony reform in New Jersey has gone on now for some time. Proponents for reform generally want to put a stop to lifetime spousal support, as well as limit the discretion that judges have in deciding the amount and length of alimony. Most supporters of alimony reform tend to be men, which is very interesting given that women are now the higher earners in a great number of New Jersey households.

According to the Pew Research Center, nationwide about 37 percent of married women with children are earning more money than their husbands. Aren’t some of these women here in New Jersey worried about potentially paying alimony for a lifetime?

Although, in many households, wives are bringing in more of an income than their husbands, a very small number of men go on to collect spousal support after divorce. U.S. Census Bureau statistics show that only about 3 percent of divorcing men receive alimony. In 2010, at the time of the most recent Census, 380,000 women received alimony compared to only 12,000 men.

The reason behind this discrepancy is unclear. It has been suggested that it might be an issue of pride; many men might think it is not socially acceptable for them to request alimony. It also might be true that in some cases it is harder for men to obtain alimony than women, because although courts are not supposed to consider gender when making decisions on alimony, men might have a harder time proving to a judge that they deserve spousal support due to preconceived notions about the roles of men and women.

It is important that men in New Jersey are aware that they do have just as much of a right to pursue spousal support as women. Spousal support is meant to prevent some of the unfair financial consequences of divorce. And spousal support is never automatic; instead, the courts are tasked with awarding alimony based on fairness.

It is often beneficial for both parties–the person requesting alimony and the person who is asked to pay alimony–to work with family law attorneys in order to prove to the judge that their positions are fair and objective.

Source: Huffington Post, “Why Don’t More Men Ask for Alimony?” Joseph E. Cordell, June 26, 2013