There is no one way to prepare for your first meeting with a prospective divorce lawyer. Things may go well, but they will never be perfect. Here are some things you can do, in advance, to assure that your first meeting goes as smoothly and efficiently as possible:

First, come with an attitude of openness and interest.  For most people, divorce is a first time experience, and you probably don’t understand the road, or how to interpret the signs along that road, even if you have done some solid research.

Second, if possible and safe for you, let your spouse know you are attending the first meeting, you need to gather a reasonably complete copy set of important documents, and you will share them since each of you will need the same documents.  If you get resistance, drop the issue, as your lawyer will secure the documents you do not have through discovery from the other lawyer or on motion to the trial judge.

Here is a list of things you can prepare for the first meeting (although anything you do not bring you have time to supply later):

• All personal information — including birth dates, social security numbers and any other identifying information for your spouse, any children you share, and yourself;
• List of personal belongings of value — including cars, jewelry, family heirlooms, works of art, china, and silver. Take photos or a video of valuables, if possible, and show insurance coverage on valuable items;
• List of shared assets — bank accounts, retirement accounts, brokerage accounts, real estate holdings, etc. Also bring a copy of your most recent federal and state tax returns, W-2’s, 1099’s, and three most recent paystubs from each of you, if possible, and from yourself at a minimum.
• Household budget — list all monthly and annual expenses as accurately as possible, both the historical budget as you have lived it for the past few years, and a projected budget listing anticipated new expenses when you move out – or if you will stay when your spouse moves out. This information is key to determining spousal support, if an issue in the case, and assessing certain parts of child support not covered by the NJ Child Support Guidelines;
• List of what you want — if there are exempt personal assets or certain household items you acquired during the marriage, list the ones you want to keep and list the ones you expect the other party will want to take (or better yet, work on a property distribution list together);
• Credit report — obtain a current credit report on yourself — if you have good credit, this could help you secure a mortgage or other loan during or after your divorce, and if not, you need to know the effects of a poor credit report;
• Criminal report — if you or your spouse has been involved in any criminal or disorderly activity, including domestic violence, bring police reports and any follow- up documents;
• Game plan — the more you think about this in advance, the more likely it is you will get what you want from your divorce. How do you envision your life over the next five years? Include work, living situation, parenting plan, etc.;
• List of payments you have already made towards college tuition and costs – and include contributions to 529 Plans.
• List of questions about mediation, arbitration, collaborative law, and other forms of Alternative Dispute Resolution – ask how they work, what methods are most advisable/advantageous for you, and whether they are likely to work; and
• List any other questions for your prospective attorney.

If there are items that existed but you are no longer able to find them, or mysterious accounts to which you have no access, or historically large amounts of cash in a safe deposit box to which you have to access, or gifts of money or property from your spouse to relatives or close friends, it is possible that your spouse is hiding or transferring marital assets in anticipation of divorce.  Divorce planning is lawful.  Hiding of assets is not. This behavior is improper and will be seen in an unfavorable light when your case gets to court.

Our office welcomes questions from clients or prospective clients.  Family law is labor intensive process.  It can take a long time, and it can be frustrating sometimes.  It can also get expensive.  We see our clients as valuable members of the team.  We do our job best when working closely with our clients.  It can take a village to get people divorced!!  We understand and respect that model.

For specific advice on preparing for your divorce, speak with the family law attorneys at Hanan M. Isaacs, P.C., at 609-683-7400, or contact us to schedule a near term and reduced fee initial consultation. We are compassionate counsel and tough advocates.  We will listen to your facts, advise you on the law, and help you create a pathway to social and economic justice for your children and you.  Call today.  You will be glad you did.