In the law, there are limits on decency and language. A person may say vile, mean, abusive stuff without suffering any legal consequences, including a protection order from abuse, according to a recent New Jersey Appellate Court ruling. Although you may not suffer a formal legal injunction after using extreme language, the better pathway is to avoid such confrontations.

Kingston Law Group’s domestic abuse practice has helped hundreds of people over the years. These are highly stressful and possibly violent situations that must be taken seriously. No matter which side of the issue you’re on, we can help. Call us at 609-683-7400 or contact us online to learn more.

What is New Jersey’s Victims’ Assistance and Survivor Protection Act (VASPA)?

VASPA provides civil restraining orders for victims and survivors of sexual violence, stalking, and cyber harassment – in cases where entry of a Domestic Violence Restraining Order may be unavailable for legal/jurisdictional reasons.  In addition to possible criminal law charges and protections, a VASPA protective order may provide civil mitigation of the following acts:

• Nonconsensual sexual contact or sexual penetration
• Lewdness
• Stalking
• Cyber harassment

A VASPA order prohibits a defendant from further committing these acts and:

• Contacting the victim directly or through a third party
• Going to the victim’s residence, school, or workplace
• Other relief a court deems appropriate

If a VASPA order is violated, there are civil and criminal penalties, which may include the following:

• Arrest
• Fines
• Probation
• Jail time

A judge may also impose other relief that’s deemed appropriate. Those who may apply for a VASPA order include the following:

• Victims and survivors who are 18 years old or older
• A parent or guardian on behalf of someone younger than 18 years old who has a mental disorder or defect, or developmental disability

These orders are different from domestic violence restraining orders (DVROs). VASPA orders may or may not apply to individuals with romantic, marital, family, or parenting relationships, while DVROs do. A VASPA order could be granted to someone who may not qualify for a DVRO.

Angry Spouse Bangs on Door Early in the Morning, Sends Texts People Wouldn’t Normally Receive

The Appellate Division recently ruled in a case involving a wife (R.S. in the decision), her husband, and a woman (A.C.) in a romantic relationship with the husband when the parties were divorcing. On an early November 2024 morning, R.S. went to A.C.’s house while the husband was present. She banged on a door and window, yelling at A.C. to meet her outside. The husband left the house, tried to talk her into leaving, but she stayed, and he left. A.C. ignored R.S.’s words and actions.

The two had never met, but while “making a scene” outside the house, R.S. made personal statements about A.C., who called the police. When the police arrived, they spoke to R.S., who left. A.C. asked them for a domestic violence restraining order, but was told she didn’t qualify.

At about 2:00 A.M., R.S. started texting her husband and A.C. Her texts included claims that there was no need to call the police and allegations that:

• Her husband and A.C. maintain fake public personas
• Their relationship started before the divorce
• She was going to contact A.C.’s employer and tell them about the relationship

R.S. then forwarded a phone message A.C. left for the husband.  R.S.’s texts included graphic descriptions of the sex she could have with her husband and the statement “ITS ON!”, which A.C. interpreted as a threat. R.S. mentioned A.C.’s husband and children and she went to see them in person.

At a hearing where A.C. sought a final protective order (FPO), she testified, “This is very concerning. I do not want this type of erratic behavior and safety risk around my children…It’s troubling. It’s dangerous.”

R.S. admitted she learned of her addresses through online research, and visited those addresses. She stated that she learned of A.C.’s address online and about A.C. after speaking with her husband. R.S. stated she didn’t plan on physically going to A.C.’s workplace, but was planning to inform A.C.’s work of the affair.

The trial judge decided that R.S. had not stalked A.C. and ruled in R.S.’s favor on the following issues:

• The text communications threatening to contact the employer were cyber-harassment under New Jersey law
• There was a threat to A.C.’s property interests
• The sexual description by R.S., the time of the 2:00 am texts, and R.S.’s visits to A.C.’s husband and children were meant to harass A.C.

R.S. appealed the decision.

Appeals Court Rules R.S. Didn’t Cross Legal Lines and Dismissed FPO

The Appellate Court ruled that the alleged language and behavior weren’t covered by VASPA and dismissed the trial court’s Order. R.S. claimed text messages aren’t cyberstalking under the law, because they were based on the telephone system, not the internet. The court disagreed, stating that such messages could be communicated over the internet and that such a finding was consistent with the law’s broad purpose of protecting victims. The court also stated that R.S. by implicating A.C.’s job potentially infringed on her property rights.

However, those two plaintiff high points were drowned out by the rest of the higher court’s decisions:

• S.’s statement about possible sex acts with her husband wasn’t lewd under the statute because they didn’t include images of genitalia to arouse or gratify someone
• The threat to contact A.C.’s employer doesn’t constitute cyber-stalking because she didn’t threaten to cause injury or harm, make false statements, or commit a crime, which could affect the plaintiff’s job if done

As repulsive and angry as R.S.’ words and actions may have been, they didn’t cross the line into what would trigger VASPA action. But maintaining control should always be your goal, even in the most heated domestic situations.

If you’re involved in a domestic dispute, and what you say or do is reprehensible but not so bad that one order or another will be issued against you, those words might still come back to haunt you. They may be used as evidence of your inability to control yourself and how over-emotional you can become in a way that could hurt your interests, including child custody and parenting time.

Contact Kingston Law Group for Help with Restraining Orders

Please contact us at 609-683-7400 toll-free to arrange a consultation. We accept credit cards and offer general appointments from 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m., Monday to Friday, or pre-arranged evening appointment times.