New Jersey divorcing couples assume that they will spend a lot of time in court, embroiled in expensive and time-consuming litigation. However, many couples actually do not need to take that route in order to dissolve their marriages. People are often able to resolve their disputes and achieve a divorce through mediation, arbitration, and collaborative law – all outside of court.

Collaborative divorce, which was once only common among high-profile couples, has recently become a popular way to end a marriage. This method has long been favored by wealthy, public individuals because it offers privacy that is not feasible during litigation; it is now becoming attractive to middle-class couples; and it is less expensive, completely private, and more flexible than heading to court.

Mediation, arbitration, and collaborative law are different from each other, and the best option depends on one’s needs, strengths, weaknesses, and circumstances.

In mediation, divorcing parties discuss their preferences – in child custody matters, property division, spousal support, etc. – under the supervision of a neutral mediator. The goal is to work together to reach agreements on the matters of a divorce.

Arbitration involves hiring a private judge to decide this issues. It is similar to court, but the couple selects the third party neutral and the process is completely private. In arbitration, an arbitrator reviews evidence and hears from each side before making a decision on a matter. An arbitrator’s decision is legally binding if the parties agree in advance that it will be.

In a collaborative divorce, each person hires an attorney, and the attorneys then work with the parties and their experts (therapeutic and financial) to resolve disputes and negotiate settlements, agreeing “up front” not to take matters to court on a contested basis. If a court contest breaks out, regardless of which party intiates it, then both lawyers have to exit the stage and litigation-based practitioners are engaged for the fight. The dual-exit requirement tends to keep parties and counsel at the negotiating table..

Those who are pursuing divorce in New Jersey should discuss these options with their respective attorneys. Alternative dispute resolution (ADR) is a viable option in most family law matters, since 98% of cases starting as litigated matters end up fully settled. It is not a question of whether settlement will occur, but rather when and at what cost.

Source: The Tampa Tribune, “Kinder, gentler divorces take the bite out of break-ups,” Ray Reyes, Sept. 15, 2013