Parental alienation is any act of a parent desperate to keep a child to him or herself. This can include lying to the child, emotional blackmail, and manipulation. Such a parent will risk a judge seeing through these acts and granting custody to the other parent, hoping the child will reject the other parent and making a custody order just a piece of paper. The child may physically be with the non-aggressive parent but emotionally detached from that parent and aligned with the alienating parent.Parental alienation is the equivalent of the emotional or psychological forced removal of a child from the other parent’s life, and the forced removal of the parent from the child. A Psychology Today article by Edward Kruk, Ph.D., states it has two pieces, (1) a planned strategy and (2) severe negative consequences to both the child and the targeted parent.

Parental Alienation Inflicts Short- and Long-Term Harm on the Child

The child often suffers several issues due to their parent’s acts and words:

• Deep sadness and depression
• Low self-worth
• Disrupted social-emotional development
• Low self-sufficiency and learned helplessness
• Reduced cognitive functioning and poor academic achievement
• Poor impulse control
• Future struggles with mental health, addiction, and self-harm

The alienator works to estrange the child from the other parent. This artificially caused hatred can lead to the child’s later and profound sense of guilt and self-hatred.

A Family Torn Apart Suffers Harm, No Matter the Cause

The cited article compares parental alienation to those who demonize migrant parents at the US-Mexico border. They’re told they are unfit for having exposed their children to the dangers of the trek to the US from Third World countries. Ordinary U.S. citizens are often indifferent to families torn apart by government policies and officials at the border.Dr. Kruk says both kinds of alienation are the products of the legal system. In one, the custody of a child is decided in court, and in the other, the immigration process determines who is and isn’t allowed in the country.

Alienating a Child From a Parent Can Be Like a Cult Isolating Someone From Society

Amy J.L. Baker, Ph.D., in Divorce Mag, states alienation happens in dysfunctional families, whether the parents end up divorcing or not. It is likely the parent trying to alienate the child suffers from a personality disorder, engages in child emotional abuse or worse, and acts like a cult leader.Dr. Baker states given how these parents act, many have a distorted way of relating to others, narcissism, and an antisocial personality. Some alienating parents also physically and sexually abuse their children.Child alienators use similar techniques as cult leaders, according to a survey of adults subjected to alienation as children. These parents used:

• Emotional manipulation strategies such as withdrawing love, trying to bind the child with a sense of loyalty, and cultivating dependency
• Brainwashing techniques like repeating negative statements about the other parent and use of extreme and absolute thinking

Dr. Baker sees parental alienation as emotional abuse for at least two reasons.

• The strategies used are emotionally abusive. The alienating parent verbally assaults, isolates, corrupts, rejects, terrorizes, ignores, and pressures the child to alienate the targeted parent
• Dividing a parent and child for no legitimate reason is also abusive

Ending Alienation May Take a Long Time

Getting past alienation is a process, not an overnight event. The defense mechanisms created to support alienation take time to break down. The child denies many true things to keep away from the targeted parent:

• The alienating parent is selfish and manipulative
• The targeted parent has positive qualities
• The child wants a relationship with the targeted parent
• The child fears losing the alienating parent’s love

Dr. Kruk’s survey found alienation from a parent lasted from 7 to 47 years, with an average of about 20 years. The brainwashing the children receives impacts them as adults and affects their relationships to their own children.

Ignoring the Problem Won’t Make It Go Away

If you fear the other parent is alienating your child against you, takes steps to protect your child and yourself. You shouldn’t stand by while your child and you suffer harm because the other parent is mentally unfit and manipulative.Call the Central Jersey law offices of Kingston Law Group at 609-683-7400, or contact us online, for a near-term reduced fee initial consultation.  We will listen to your facts, explain the laws, and advise you about how to seek legal and social justice.  We will give you your best options to protect your legal rights and interests and those of your child.  Call now.  You will be glad you did.