Minimizing the Effects of Divorce on Children
For adults and children in New Jersey, the separation of a marriage can create a very serious rift. Parents may see it as the only option to bring happiness to their life again, but often times, children do not understand this. Some children have seen divorce as an attack against them while others might believe that it was caused by them. In a recent news article, a clinical psychologist and author points out that it is pertinent for parents to help their child understand so that the child can grow up with minimal distress towards the separation of his or her parents.
Studies have shown that many children that have gone through a divorce grow into young adults who still have feelings that are very much attached to the separation of their parents. In many cases, the loss of a relationship with their father was bemoaned. Other college-aged individuals that had experienced a divorce in their life held feelings that were still brought out when their divorced parents got into disagreements.
According to another study, less than a fifth of divorcing parents told their child about what was happening before legal action was taken. Just 5 percent of children who had experienced divorce said they were allowed to ask questions. The study later suggests that this lack of transparency may contribute to the loss of control that many children feel during and after a divorce. When it is not discussed and is instead a sudden change that a child is unprepared for, divorce can be very traumatic. The study suggests that divorcing parents discuss the situation with their child and allow them to ask any question that they have.
Children are a top priority when it comes to divorce and courts do their best to make custody decisions that are in the best interest of the child or children involved. In some cases, judges take into consideration the opinions of the children involved when it comes to custody decisions.
Source: Huffington Post, “Helping Children Survive Divorce: Talking to Children About Divorce,” Joseph Nowinski, Nov. 14, 2011