Jewish couples living in New Jersey have an advantage against their spouse during the dissolution of a marriage that many non-Jewish couples do not possess. This advantage comes in the form of a social norm that is endemic to the Jewish faith: the Get.

Jewish law dictates that when a couple goes through a divorce, the man must extend a Get to his wife. If he chooses not to, a marriage may end in the legal realm, but it will not end in the social realm. Any relationship established by the woman after her legal divorce proceedings are over will not be considered legitimate by the Jewish community. In community’s eyes, a woman without a Get who is participating in a relationship with another individual is being adulterous. Also, children born from this adulterous relationship would be considered illegitimate.

Interestingly, the awarding of a Get has been used during a divorce settlement to leverage favor for either of the spouses. In many cases, it is the man that withholds the Get from the woman. By doing this, he can create severe amounts of social stress for her. But she can also refuse to accept a Get that is offered. Many cases of this have ended with a divorce settlement that favors the woman because the same social stigmas apply to a man who begins a relationship without a finalized divorce.

Some courts have begun attempts to require these finalizations in final divorce decrees, which mean that religious acts are being required by a legal order. Many believe that this is unconstitutional so if this happens during a court proceeding, understand that the right to disagree is available.

Source: Opposing Views, “NJ Court: Husband Doesn’t have to Give Wife Jewish Divorce,” Eugene Volokh, Jan. 2, 2012