Many people in New Jersey and all over the country are making decisions not to get married, even when they have children. In fact, the marriage rate in the U.S. is currently at a record low. One reason behind this trend may be the fact that so many people in their 20s and 30s grew up with divorced parents, so they choose not to marry in order to avoid going through another divorce. A recent news report suggests, however, that if couples are going to have children, it may be better to marry and divorce than to never marry at all.

Many unmarried parents find that when they choose to breakup, they have few legal protections. Divorce law in New Jersey attempts to make possible the fair and equitable dissolution of marriage, and as such there are legal processes in place to determine child custody and support, property division and spousal support in the event of divorce. Because the same processes are not available to unmarried couples, in many cases a breakup can be more complicated and less fair than a divorce.

About half of the children who are born to women under 30 in the U.S. do not have married parents, and because about 66 percent of unmarried cohabitating parents break up before their child is 10, more and more people may face these complicated breakups.

Of course, divorce is no picnic either, but when people choose to divorce they have certain legal rights to assets, estates, health coverage, spousal support and child custody or visitation. Even child support–which of course is available to unmarried parents–tends to be easier to facilitate if the parents were married. This is because when a child is born, the mother’s husband is considered the legal father, while a mother’s boyfriend is not automatically assumed to be the father.

While unmarried couples with children certainly do have fewer legal protections than their married counterparts, they still may benefit from legal counsel in the event of a split. With legal counsel it may be possible to assert one’s rights to certain assets, as well as develop a suitable child custody arrangement and support plan. As many people continue to be wary of marriage, it is important for unmarried couples to be aware of some of the unique legal challenges they may face and to be prepared to address them.

Source: New York Observer, “No Divorce Is the New Divorce: Moms and Dads Navigate Messy Breakups in Marriage-less World,” Rose Surnow, March 19, 2013