For some people considering a divorce, not only are you out of love with your spouse, you don’t trust your spouse either. Whether you think your spouse is hiding money or an affair, you may feel a burning desire to know what’s really going on. As natural as that may be, going too far with surveilling your spouse before or during a divorce is a bad idea.  Here’s why.

Your family life, financial interests, and your digital life are often linked together with your spouse’s. This can open the door to potential spying through spyware or specialized apps, keyboard loggers, and GPS tracking technology. Here are some issues you need to think about, according to NPR.

You share an email account.

If you do, you need a new one. Set it up using a different service, different passwords, and new security questions. You might even want to supply false answers to security questions if your spouse knows the name of your first pet or your mother’s maiden name. This is especially important if you’re corresponding with your attorney via email or text messaging. Confidential communications should remain sacrosanct, not grist for your spouse’s lawyer.  You may also want to get a post office box for correspondence or documents mailed to you by your attorney and others.  They are inexpensive and discreet.

Make sure you log out of all accounts on your devices when you are done with a session. If you stay logged into an account, it’s too easy for your spouse to see what you’ve been saying and doing.

Spyware

With a little work, you can locate spyware. It’s software that enables you to see everything your spouse is doing, all the keys he or she is pushing, physically track where the person is going, and some may allow you to use a phone’s microphone as a listening device. But secretly installing spyware on a device is illegal. You may be very angry and feel disrespected because your spouse may be cheating on you. But since divorce laws have modernized, infidelity is practically irrelevant in the eyes of the law, so there wouldn’t be much reward for running the risk of being caught breaking the law. And civil fines and penalties can be high.

Recording conversations with your spouse is perfectly legal in New Jersey, but picking up conversations of third parties and your spouse is not.

If you want to investigate your spouse for adultery, speak with your attorney about hiring a good old fashioned private eye, who is licensed and trained to conduct an investigation lawfully, properly, and provably if evidence is required in court.  A “do it yourself” version is a very bad idea.  I once had a client get arrested for placing a GPS tracking device on his wife’s car.  He conveniently showed up when she was out with friends, jumping out in front of her table with a great big “gotcha” smile.  But wife didn’t find it amusing.  She called the police.  The Judge was not impressed by the amateur sleuth.  He found our client guilty of stalking, a disorderly persons offense punishable by a fine.

If adultery isn’t an issue yet you think your spouse is hiding assets or making changes to a business to lower his or her financial exposure, that still wouldn’t be enough to justify spyware.  Instead, consider discussing with your lawyer the retention and use of a highly qualified forensic accountant, who can track money and assets and develop lifestyle analyses.

If you fear electronic document destruction by your ex-2-be, you can hire a forensic computer expert to examine electronic devices to look for documents and files your spouse may have thought they deleted.

If you think your spouse has put spyware on YOUR devices, or bugged your phones or living quarters, you should get the services of a security expert to examine them.

Until cleared, do not use these devices.  Turn them off and leave them in a dead sound area, under lock and key, so nothing will record if the microphone is live. Or, if it’s cheaper, buy a new phone or device and keep them under lock and key (or as close to that as possible).

Tools and tactics that are fair game

Illegally obtained evidence from spyware isn’t going to be allowed in court, but information obtained other ways may be admissible.

• A conversation in person can be recorded legally if at least one participant knows of the recording.
• Paper documents and things that are tangible and easily and openly accessed are fair game for being reviewed, photographed and copied within the home office or home proper.

If you have any questions about the divorce process, what evidence is obtainable and how it will be used, what you can do to maintain your privacy during a divorce, and what you can do if your privacy rights have been invaded, please contact our law offices so we can talk about your situation and help you vindicate your legal rights.  Call us for a near-term reduced fee initial consultation.  We will listen to your facts, explain the law, and work with you to attain social and economic justice. Call today.  You will be glad you did.