You probably know someone who has gone through a messy divorce. When a divorce is adversarial–perhaps because spouses do not agree on matters of child custody or property division–it can become very expensive and drawn out. In the worst cases, children become pawns. In New Jersey, divorce does not have to be this way.

When divorcing couples are willing to resolve their disagreements through alternative dispute resolution (ADR), it is possible to save money, avoid time consuming and stressful court involvement, and spare children from additional emotional trauma. ADR involves negotiations, mediation, arbitration and collaborative law.

Mediation allows parties to work together with their attorneys to negotiate their important life decisions with a neutral facilitator, called a mediator. The mediator supervises the parties’ mediated negotiations. While the mediator does not have the authority to decide outcomes, s/he can help the parties reach agreements that they deem fair, even if the issues get contentious.

Arbitrators have the power to make legally binding decisions on custodial and financial issues, based upon evidence and law presented in private sessions not involving the courts.

Couples can also choose to end their marriages through collaborative divorce. This allows couples to work together with their lawyers, financial, and mental health consultants/coaches, and negotiate the settlement terms without the court’s involvement. In fact, if either party opts for court intervention, then both lawyers have to opt out, by pre-agreement. This provision forces parties to be reasonable, or risk the loss of their legal team in favor of a new litigation team on both sides.

The collaborative family law movement has been gaining steam since the 1980s, providing a productive and less expensive alternative to traditional divorce.

Legislation is pending in New Jersey that would further refine the collaborative law process: A State Senate bill would require full financial disclosure during the collaborative divorce process. It would also ensure that any third parties involved in a collaborative divorce, such as mental health professionals, would be bound by confidentiality.

A total of 39 states have already legislated collaborative divorce in a similar fashion.

As you may imagine, parties to divorce actions may create multiple step processes involving each of the ADR options, leaving the litigation process — the most expensive and time consuming of all — for last, except if an emergency arises requiring immediate court intervention.

If you are interested in learning more about collaborative divorce and ADR generally, you should talk to a New Jersey Supreme Court Certified Family Law Specialist with experience in these process options.

Source: NJ Spotlight, “Collaborative family law helps take litigation out of divorce,” Bill Mooney, May 2, 2014