Almost every new divorce client wants to know: “How long will this process take? If not by yesterday, then can we be divorced by next month?” From experience, my answer is always the lawyerly one: “It depends.”

In New Jersey, parties may resolve the underlying issues child-related and financial issues in various ways, but only a Family Court Judge has the power to grant a divorce. If the negotiations are uncontested, the most efficient way to resolve matters is by entry of a comprehensive settlement agreement detailing, as relevant, terms of child custody, child support, child relocation, alimony, equitable distribution of joint assets and debts, and transaction costs (mediator fees, expert fees, legal fees and costs).

Once the parties and both legal counsel review and sign the settlement document, then either of the parties is free to file the divorce complaint, which the other party will not contest. Some counties permit filing for divorce on the papers only, without a court appearance, which is often a good idea, but sometimes not. If the matter has been difficult to resolve, if feelings of betrayal or other upset are raging, if there is a strong risk of “buyer’s remorse” by one, the other, or both of the parties, then the best bet is to have both parties and both legal counsel appear and put the deal on the record in front of a Judge at an uncontested hearing. There, both parties will affirm their understanding of and agreement to the settlement terms, and their satisfaction with legal counsel’s representation. This strongly inhibits either party from looking to overturn the deal in later months or even years, and is akin to an insurance policy on later enforceability.

It is also possible to finalize an agreement between the parties that has not been reduced to a signed writing. This usually works best when there are few issues in controversy. Perhaps it involves distribution of marital debt, and the parties (or one of them) also wants to memorialize that there will be no alimony paid either way. In those cases, we can send a notice to the defaulting spouse and announce on paper the terms sought by our client. The courts will honor that method of case resolution also, as long as due process can be documented (proof of valid service upon the other party followed by no objection on the proposal’s merits).

If the parties have most of the deal worked out, but need third party neutral assistance to finish it, and the lawyers cannot resolve the matter, then bringing in a mediator to facilitate the negotiations, or an arbitrator to “call the questions” remaining, can be a very good idea. Our website contains descriptive sections and articles on family law Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR), and we invite you to read them at cd0.303.myftpupload.com/

Child custody, parenting time, and child relocation — issues that divorcing parties and their professionals consider the most important — may be substantially narrowed and resolved right at the start. The parties can prepare child custody and parenting time terms and put them into place before the divorce complaint is filed. The parties should start living by those arrangements immediately after each of them signs the parenting time plan. ADR can be helpful to the parties, including referral to therapists who specialize in these issues, if the parties are having a difficult time finalizing their child-related plans.

The greater the level of complexity and the higher the level of interpersonal conflict between the parties, the more difficult it becomes to resolve the issues on an uncontested basis. In those cases, the divorce will take longer and cost more in time, money, and aggravation spent. Parties in those cases may still settle, but it usually takes much longer and involves more professionals. In some cases, “it takes a village” to get couples divorced.

The shorter time, lower money, and lower stress rewards go to parties who cooperate, stay out of court (except to finalize an uncontested divorce), and work hard to move through the process as amicably and efficiently as possible. If parties and legal counsel can negotiate persistently and well, the settlement process should take three (3) months. This will be followed by an abbreviated court process that may take an additional two (2) to three (3) months. To put this in perspective, if parties (or one of them) should decide to commence settlement negotiations in April and file for divorce in July, then the divorce can almost always be finalized by October of the same year, including a court appearance or filed paperwork alone (depending upon the county) to put through the divorce.

If there is a reason to accelerate the process (wife is pregnant by someone else and wants to remarry quickly; husband’s girlfriend is pregnant and husband wants to remarry quickly); or slow it down (the parties need to wait until the following January for tax purposes); then ordinarily that can be done as well. Our office once put a divorce through in 37 days, from start to finish, for good cause shown. We recently delayed the final hearing for over a year so our senior client could stay on her husband’s medical insurance until she qualified for Medicare.

The courts will work with the parties and their lawyers, as long as the lawyers let the judges know what is needed and why. If the request is reasonable, there is a high probability that the timing request will be granted.

If you or someone you know is contemplating separation or divorce, or has already started a process that is not working, then please contact our office to discuss your wants and needs. Our skilled and experienced attorneys will advise you on how to streamline your divorce while also protecting your family’s rights and your own.