If you’re getting divorced, you want the best possible outcome for yourself and your children and maybe even for your spouse. You want a smooth road to a new and better life. Damaging social media posts are like potholes. If you can’t control the ride, you will damage yourself. So, keep your hands on the wheel and off the keyboard.

The internet is the world’s largest gossip column and most popular place to complain about any and all things. Airing your dirty marital laundry online is a terrible idea. Not only might friends and family members see it, but your spouse’s attorney may see it too. Put your hands up and step away from your tablet or smartphone next time you feel the urge.

Your online presence can significantly impact divorce negotiations and create a settlement agreement. Don’t discuss your marital problems online. Assume anything you write, any videos you post, can and will be used against you, one way or another.

An article in Divorce Magazine discusses instances where things stated online impacted real-world divorce proceedings:

• A husband divorcing his wife listed himself on a dating website. He falsely stated he was single and without kids. The wife got a copy, gave it to the attorneys involved, the custody evaluator, and their son’s therapist.
• Complaining about your spouse online is especially damaging if your kids have access to your posts. It’s bad enough if you argue privately. It’s much worse when it’s in public. Your kids will feel humiliated knowing your whole community could be on the sidelines watching the two of you verbally fight it out.
• You may be so angry you don’t care who reads your online shotgun blasts, but it can impact relationships beyond your spouse. What will friends, family, or your boss think of your anger and lack of control when they see your posts?

Deleting a post may or may not actually delete it. Assume it’s permanent. There could be a cached version or a screenshot on a server. Your estranged spouse may have saved it the old-fashioned way by printing off a copy.

Blocking or “unfriending” someone can be ineffective in preventing them from seeing something. The two of you may have mutual friends, so that person may still see what you’re posting. Privacy settings continuously change, so you never definitely know who is or isn’t seeing something.

Discussing online, or even worse, posting photos of an extramarital affair may, depending on the issue, be great news to the other spouse because it may make you look bad. If a spouse owns a business and brags online how great things are going, it’ll be hard to complain the company lacks assets and isn’t worth much money. Discussions of the division of marital assets, payment of spousal and child support may be spiced up by LinkedIn posts and online press releases boasting of new contracts and clients.

Make no threats, in any way, to your spouse, whether they’re threats of violence, emotional blackmail, or actions to alienate your kids against the other parent. This is bad enough during a divorce proceeding. Stating these things online is like adding napalm to the fire. It’s incendiary, there for all to see, it’s obvious you said those things, and you can’t take it back.

Not only is this material available for all those online, what you’re posting may be admissible evidence in a trial if your case doesn’t settle. Deleting material after litigation begins could be seen as willful destruction of evidence, also known as spoliation of evidence, which creates a separate cause of action for damages. This may be more harmful to your case than the material you deleted.

In sum, negative, angry social media posts and other material you may put online won’t strengthen your negotiating position. They’ll put you in a weaker position. Being too emotional and spreading private information will help your spouse, not you. As much as you may want to participate in the online world, you must be mindful of its impact on the real world.

We understand the stress that comes with divorce and how, sometimes, stress relief can take harmful turns. The Kingston Law Group knows what you’re going through. We want the best for you in the shortest time possible. If your spouse isn’t interested in cooperating, we can be fierce advocates for your legal rights.

We can also help you finalize an uncontested settlement and divorce, rapidly. Call us at 609-683-7400 or contact us online so we can schedule a near-term initial consultation at a reduced rate. We are conveniently located in Central Jersey’s Kingston community. Call today. You will be glad you did.