In the New Jersey divorce process, wise couples make every effort to remain amicable throughout and are able to resolve most issues peacefully and quietly. Other couples, not so much. A high-conflict couple may not be suitable for alternative dispute resolution methods, and could spend months and years in stressful and expensive litigation. In our experience, that does not have to be the case. In fact, especially with high-conflict couples, mediation, collaborative divorce, arbitration, and other alternatives to litigation can greatly increase the speed, privacy, and cost-savings by which such couples reach agreement.

In New Jersey, the Supreme Court has coined the phrase Complementary Dispute Alternatives (CDR), as they see these methods as complementing, rather than replacing, the litigation route.  Many judicial bodies consider CDR/ADR to be more appropriate for high-conflict couples than litigation because:

• An experienced mediator can address the process the couple uses to communicate, streamlining their ability to problem solve.
• The mediator engenders trust in the couple, which enables both parties to speak their minds freely, thereby increasing the flow of information to the mediator.
• The mediator gains knowledge and understanding of each partner, and can therefore envision and offer solutions that are more agreeable than what the court can determine.
• The process of mediation maintains a level of intimacy between the partners that is reflective of the marriage. This gives the mediator insight that can enable the process through customized strategies for the long-term.
• Collaborative divorce involves two parties and two lawyers who dedicate themselves to our-of-court resolution.  They bring in therapeutic and financial experts as needed.  If either party wants to go to court on a contested basis, the collaboration stops and both parties have to get outside litigation lawyers.
• Arbitration, whether binding or non-binding, involves a third party neutral who takes testimony and reviews evidence, like a public court judge, and who recommends outcomes or has binding power to impose them.

The process of mediation, collaboration, or arbitration requires finesse and dedication by the professionals. With a high-conflict couple, it is essential that both parties buy into the idea before the process begins. Both partners must be committed to working through the details of their agreement in the spirit of cooperation, rather than as adversaries. Couples who have already been through costly, ineffectual litigation are highly motivated to avoid more.  Many people find it distasteful to burn through a great deal of money, with not much to show for it at the end.  I once heard a man testify at a public hearing on the benefits of ADR/CDR.  He said, “My wife and I had no idea how bad the divorce was going to get.  We started out as friends, and parted as bitter enemies.  I hate to say that we spent our children’s college funds educating our lawyers’ children or grandkids.”

Once both parties buy into the alternatives, ADR/CDR can be the best, most private, least expensive, and fastest route to a fair, if not entirely friendly, divorce.

Mediation, Collaborative Law, and arbitration require a skilled practitioner who knows all these processes and the law, and how to apply one to the other. The family law attorneys at Hanan M. Isaacs, P. C., will help you navigate your divorce using the best methods available for your situation. Call our Central New Jersey office at 609-683-7400 or contact us today online for a near-term reduced fee initial consult.  We will listen to your facts, explain the relevant law and ADR/CDR methods, and recommend the best course of action for you.  Call now.  You will be glad you did.